(no subject)

[the_goldenpath]

Title: Just the little things
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairings: to be established Heero & Duo
Genre: fluffy, waff, a little bit of angst
Summary: Heero is waiting for the right moment to tell Duo he loves him. Quatre’s Christmas party seems a perfect opportunity, but the once ‘perfect soldier’ is plagued with doubts and Duo seems a little bit clueless...
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Shotsu, Sunrise and Bandai.
Author’s notes: (unbeta-ed) christmas gift fic for zerotwofan. ^___^





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He’s just a phone call away. Pick up the phone and call him, you idiot! I memorized his number the second he gave it to me, scrawled on the back of his first business card. How could I ever forget the bright, enthusiastic look on his face and the exuberance in his voice when he gave me the card? We were celebrating the official opening of ‘Maxwell’s Salvage and Scrap Yard Shop’, as he proudly baptized his first enterprise.

The salvage shop didn’t come as a surprise- Duo is someone who likes to work with his hands. He’s intelligent enough to outsmart the lot of us- Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, me-, but he seems to get more satisfaction from his mechanical and engineering work than sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day. He’s not suitable for an office job- he’d feel confined, restricted... something Duo Maxwell shouldn’t feel. Call him. What are you waiting for?
“The question is... what should I care about what Duo Maxwell feels?” I voiced out loud, echoing in my office. Liar!
Stupid conscience.

Let’s see. L2 telephone numbers start with 0200, area code is 568...
“Quit it!” I snarl.
“Why thank you, and I haven’t even said something yet,” a low voice drawls at the door.
“My apologies Chang, I didn’t see you come in.”
“I wonder why,” he mutters under his breath, but I see the twinkle in his eyes. The Eve Wars are at least four years behind us, and even Chang Wufei has ‘lightened up’, as Duo likes to call it. Well, in fact he uses a more crude expression, I believe... and why does he pop up in every thought I have?
“Who were you calling?”
I notice to my surprise that my left hand is draped over the vid phone, fingers on the 0 and 2 buttons of the keypad.
“Does it have something to do with a certain someone named Maxwell you were yelling about earlier?”
“Shut up,” I hiss, slowly withdrawing my hand, pointedly ignoring my reddening cheeks. “It’s none of your business. Is there a reason for your visit?”

He stifles a yawn. “It’s my last day before Christmas break. I’ve finished the last of the outstanding cases and filed reports, the rest is all in Une’s hands. Did she approve of your leave request?”
I try to look as neutral as possible. “I’m sure I manage to arrive in time for Quatre’s Christmas party.”
“I take it you didn’t ask for a leave.” He shakes his head. “Heero, the world doesn’t come to an end when you take a few days off.”
“We’ve talked about this before and-” the vid phone beeps loudly. It’s an incoming phone call from L2, where technology unfortunately still is stalled, which means that I don’t have image on the screen. It doesn’t matter- I know who’s calling and I can see him lively in front of me.

“Hey Heero, buddy, I usually don’t call you at work, but it’s the only way I can reach you! How’s everything at Preventers HQ? Is Wufei there? Hey, are you coming to Quatre’s this weekend for the Christmas party?”
“Duo, what a pleasant surprise,” I cringe at the sound of my voice. When Duo talks, I hear a symphony of intonations in his voice, and when I talk... I only hear one bland, neutral tone. Damn you stupid Gundam training. I bit my lip. I can’t blame dr. J nor his training for the lack of emotion in my voice. Duo doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. Tell him that you like him- now!
“Quit it,” I snarl again, soft enough so Duo doesn’t hear it. I clear my throat and start answering his questions. “Fine, yes, and yes.”
I don’t need to look at Wufei to know he’s rolling his eyes. Yes, he lightened up so much that he rolls his eyes; I wish Duo hadn’t taught him this particular expression.

“I’m leaving,” my colleague motions with his hands, pointing at the door.
“See you,” I answer absentmindedly, dismissing Wufei from my thoughts the moment he leaves. Duo is talking about his work at the scrap yard, about Hilde and her husband who handles most of the paperwork of the business, about his two dogs and fourteen cats or something.
“I swear, those kitties pop up every time I wander over the yard,” he tells me, “they know I always have something to eat with me.”
“Duo, those animals are taking advantage of you,” I say, meanwhile savouring the sound of his voice. I don’t care what he talks about- he talks to me, and that’s more important to me. “They have shelter in the yard, you provide them with food- do you serve them milk too?”
“I put a few bowls out in the morning,” he says and I imagine him squirming in his seat. My Duo with his heart of gold. How I would give everything to call him “My Duo”. I’d even consider getting over my aversion of any feline creature in the scrap yard.

“So I’ll see you at Quatre’s?”
The conversation is cut short, as a phone call from L2 is pretty expensive and Duo doesn’t work at the fancy Preventers HQ, nowadays a multimillion-financed organisation, thank you Relena Peacecraft and the current Earth Sphere United Nations government.
“Yes, count me in,” I confirm and suddenly, there’s a silence. For a brief moment I wonder if he’s already hung up.
“I… I’m really looking forward to seeing you again, Duo,” I say, voice forcefully under control.
“Yes, me too, buddy,” he answers with the same, unaltered cheer in his voice and hangs up.
I don’t know how long I sit there with my finger at the “disconnect” button.

- - - - - - - -

So far, I’ve greeted everybody I know; worked my way around those I’m not interested in, spoken to the ones I’m interested in, and still no sign of Duo. Is he merely delayed or did something happen on his trip to Earth? I dismiss any negative thought. Duo is more than capable of taking care of himself, and I shouldn’t be so influenced by all these sickly sweet Christmas carols and nauseating bad punch to become so emotionally unstable. If I really want to tell him about my feelings, I need to get my head straight. At the same moment I put down my glass, I receive a slap on my shoulder and before I can react, I’m spun around on my feet and pecked on the cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Heero!”
“Merry Christmas,” I answer him and feel my heart sink. He’s simply beautiful- stunningly beautiful. The dimmed and coloured lights bring out the diversity of chestnut, cinnamon and golden strands in his thick hair, confined to its usual braid, the black tuxedo he’s wearing stresses his tall and well-defined body, and his eyes... I could go on until New Year’s Eve describing his eyes and still run out of time.
He’s not interested in you. He’s too good. I blink with my eyes. Hey, what’s this? First encouraging me, now discouraging? Why does my conscience choose to shut up at the most awkward moment?

“You must tell me everything about your latest assignment, Heero,” he says, snatching a glass of champagne from a bypassing waiter. “I love to hear about it.”
“You could be working for us, you know,” I say and if I haven’t slapped myself mentally before, I sure could do it just about now.
He looks at me funnily before taking a sip of the champagne. “You know why I don’t want to work for the government, or for any boss for that matter.”
“Don’t you want to work with me?” I say, barely refraining from pouting. Get a grip, Yuy.
“The moment you buy stock in my business you’re in,” he says, grinning. “I can use a good man on multiple-”
“Duo! Finally!” The object of my affection becomes tangled in a group hug and my urge to kill rises in a flash. Quatre has the utmost luck that I don’t have my gun with me now- and Trowa has put on more muscle than I can remember. I sure don’t want to wrestle with him. Wufei has come up too, so the circle is complete. Why do I feel left out, all of the sudden?

The rest of the evening becomes a blur. I see Duo here and there, and he even talks to me for more than fifteen minutes; it’s not his fault that everybody wants to talk to him because they don’t see him that often. People are interested in his salvage work and the situation on L2, which leaves to be desired, despite of the ending of the war years ago and the development programs the government is so anxious to start up.
I feel terribly tempted to get drunk. I can’t get to Duo to talk to me, my conscience is encouraging and discouraging me, and I don’t even know if he’s interested in me that way... anyway.

Shall I count the ways I love him? I love his optimism, his ability to see the good side of things even when it looks bad, his perseverance, his constant drive, his way of making you feel better only by simply being there. Shall I count the ways he loves me? Yeah, right... I really should quit drinking. It wouldn’t be becoming of the best agent of the Preventers force to get caught drunk of his ass, now would it?
I don’t care anymore. I’d hoped to ask Duo to sleep over at my place for Christmas, but I overheard Quatre inviting him to stay at his place. I don’t need to hear Duo’s confirmation; sure he would choose the luxury and comfort of one of Quatre’s giant bedrooms over a futon at my two-room apartment. Suddenly feeling very sorry for myself, I leave the party. I doubt if someone sees me leave, and if someone would see it, would they care?

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I hate working in the week between Christmas and New Year. The colleagues who are at work -most of the time complaining and grumbling- are looking at me with pity in their eyes. I know what they think and I don’t care. I stare at my cup of coffee. I screwed up a good opportunity to talk to Duo and my feelings about him and... and I know he cares about me, just not in the way I would like to.

It wasn’t love at first sight. The first time we met, he shot me. Twice. It has become a joke the others can’t get enough of, even though the circumstances at that time were a whole lot graver. Time. Time heals all wounds... but time also opens the possibilities to think and to ponder. I’ve pondered a lot, the last few years. I figured out a lot about my feelings, my wants, my needs and myself. I need Duo, it’s simple as that. He didn’t notice my heart breaking when he announced his departure to L2, and I did my best to be happy for him, having found his goal in life.

I wonder what he thought of me in all the time that has gone by. We kept in touch; all of us did, and send cards with birthdays and other special occasions. I once send him tickets for his favourite rock band for his birthday and I still have his ‘thank you’ letter; I didn’t dare to suggest that I should go with him; it was the then husband-less Hilde who got the honour of accompanying him.

Maybe you’re just thinking that you need him. Really? Am I picturing something perfect, only in my mind? I just know Duo is the right one for me. He saved me on several occasions, and he was... is a good friend. My first impression of a loud, boisterous American changed quickly- but in all those years, he never told me about his first impression of me.

“Grumpy, irritated, and the only person on Earth who works between Christmas and New Year voluntarily,” Duo says.
My mouth falls open. He stands at the door, arms crossed, smiling.
“I knew I could find you here. Wufei told me you picked up the habit of talking to yourself.”
“Wufei talks too much,” I answer, feeling the warmth prickle under my hair. Duo stands right in front of me and I have to get control over myself, over the situation.
“I thought you went back to L2?”
“I’m here for a week,” he says, “Quatre invited me over, and I thought it was nice to spend more time with you guys than just one evening. So, how was your Christmas?”
“I was at home,” I answer sourly.
“Why didn’t you say anything? You could’ve spent the day with us. I wanted to call you, but Quatre was convinced you were visiting Relena.”
“He was misinformed,” I say, feeling even more miserable. He looks at me, wide violet blue coloured eyes looking at me. He’s so genuine- there is nothing fake about Duo Maxwell.

“Duo...”
“I want... ”
He snickers. “You first.”
“No, never mind. What did you want to say?”
“I wanted to thank you for that spare part you send me lately. I mentioned it in one of my e-mails and I never thought you would get it for me.”
“I know who difficult it was for you to find that part,” I say. “It was nothing.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Duo says, rather vehemently. “It was not ‘nothing’. You did something for me, and even though it seems like a little thing, it meant the world to me. I’ve never said it out loud Heero, but you’re really a good friend. I’m proud to call you my friend.”
“You showed me to be one,” I tell him. He looks up, a bit confused.

“Duo...”
He’s silent. I’m doing this all wrong. There’s no one around us, now it’s my chance!
“Duo...”
“Why were you talking about me?” His voice sounds... child-like, curious. “You said “loud American”. Or is there any other loud American I don’t know of?” He laughs, a bit strained.
“You’re the only American I know,” I say and I stand up. “I wanted to talk to you about this on the Christmas party, but I should’ve known that everyone wanted to see you.”
“You disappeared all of the sudden,” he scolds me, “like Cinderella before the clock struck midnight.”
“Fairy tales?”

He makes a noise that resembles a “Hm-mm,” but I’m not sure. I cover the distance between us and position myself right in front of him, closing the door. Now he’s caught between the door and me; no way out until we’ve finished talking. He looks at me curiously, body completely relaxed because he trusts me. I won’t do anything to compromise that trust; even if I have to live with an eventual rejection, I’ll hope that he continues to trust me and to be my friend. This is it.

“Fairy tales always end with a ‘happily ever after’,” I tell him. He nods, confusion still in his eyes, next to the anticipation and curiosity. And something else- something I can’t quite put my finger on.
“I want you to be happy,” he says. Bingo!
“You make me happy.” I force myself to keep my eyes open while I touch him. Just a simple touch on the upper arm. I don’t avert my eyes, once again forcing me to look at his face. My heart dances when I don’t see rejection. “The way you smile makes me happy. The way you trust in me makes me happy. The way you are... makes me happy.”
He puts his head down and fear overwhelms me.
“When you e-mail me, you make me happy. When I hear your voice, you make me happy.” My voice starts to croak. Please please answer me, Duo.

“You make me happy too,” he says after an eternity of silence. He looks up, eyes rapidly blinking. “I never thought...Heero...”
I kiss him, modestly on the cheek. I still have my hand on his upper arm.
“I never knew... well, I knew you liked me as a friend... when you send me those tickets, and the spare parts, I never realized that it meant so much more to you too.”
“It wasn’t bribe material, Duo. I would do that for you even if I hadn’t felt this way,” I say, lifting his chin up with my other hand.


“It’s just the little things, isn’t it, Heero?” He laughs.
“Just the little things,” I repeat, and then proceed to kiss him- this time, full on the lips.

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Comments

[shinigami2174.livejournal.com]

Sweet. I love it. ;)

[the-goldenpath.livejournal.com]

^__^ Thank you! Your gift fic is next ^^.